The Importance of Same-Sex Friendships
As my family and I drive to Ohio from California, I keep revisiting thoughts of the people and a life we have known for over seven years.
Through high school and college, I had been burned too many times, and just shut down emotionally after graduation.
I stopped trying with people, women especially.
When Spencer and I got engaged, I had my sister as my Maid of Honor. For my bridesmaids, I had one old friend from high school, and then the rest were Spencer’s sisters and his close friends.
It was at that moment I realized how much I had shut women out.
When we started our CrossFit gym, it took me about three years to warm up to the women and build friendships.
Slowly but surely, though, I found myself actually enjoying the company of my fellow female athletes.
Fives years into our gym business, and I was suddenly reminded why I stopped with girlfriends so many years ago.
The break up with our head coach brought out the catty, gossipy behavior many women are so artfully talented at. Women don’t go for physical pain, they drill in deep to hopefully leave emotional scars.
Hurt people hurt other people.
Any person, man or woman, who uses gossip as a bonding tool with others is not a friend. Just as they used someone else to befriend me, they just as quickly used me to befriend someone else.
I learned all that the hard way.
However, through the storm, a few women stuck around and showed me what friendship really means.
Honestly, I had forgotten what being a friend was.
My handful of close girlfriends reminded me. It took me seven years to find them, trust them, and build what we have now.
We all cried my last day at the gym. I cried harder at home.
As we drive through Iowa, I wonder who will cross my path in Ohio, who will I find, trust, and build with. Will I be able to again?!
No doubt, I will keep in touch with my core girlfriends. They are worth the effort.
They add value to my life.
I never wanted to admit it before, but having a few close girlfriends is pretty important for a quality of life, as well as for personal growth and sustainability.
You have to go through the bullshit and pain to find those few.
It’s worth it.
“You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with — Choose wisely.”