As I reflect on the 2015 CrossFit Open, I find myself asking where I want to go from here in my competitive career.
I’ve broken through the fact that I do not want to be an individual competitor, at least, at this point in my life, but as far as training goes from here, I actually feel the desire to just train for fun.
What exactly do I mean by that?
Well, as I said in my last post, I have never really experienced CrossFit in any other form other than competition. It’s all I’ve ever known for the 6 years I’ve been doing this. And, there is a part of me that lives vicariously through my members who are truly just training for life and fun.
Another part of me is feeling my mortality, and there are others things far more important to me than qualifying for Regionals – For instance, having a second child. Continuing to grow our gym and inspire others to be healthy and fit. To be a better wife. To be a better mother.
To be a better me.
I secretly fear death almost every day.
I saw a great video shared on Facebook the other day. It’s a profound interview with author, Maurice Sendak.
Please take a moment to watch it, and even watch it a second time…
When I saw this video, I started crying, because it really hit home for me. I rarely, if ever, talk about politics and religion, because people are extremely passionate about their belief systems, and I’ve seen it rip families and marriages apart. So, I’ve always just left it out of the equation, but I do have my own belief system, as well.
Without going in to too much detail, though, I will say that I deeply share in Maurice Sendak’s sentiments – I am in love with the world!
And, that is all that matters.
Whether I am religious or not, I love the world, and try to live my life with the utmost quality and passion. For when the day comes, I hope to be able to say to goodbye with a smile. And, even more so, I hope that I will be remembered with fondness and appreciation.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou
Thinking about the Open and my mortality, I’ve suddenly started asking myself, “If tomorrow is really it, what do I want to make sure to leave behind? What will my ‘mark’ in this world be?”
I don’t want to be remembered for my 178# Clean & Jerk, or my 95th finish overall in NorCal, or my Strict Muscle Ups, or even my 250# Back Squat.
I want to be remembered for being an inspiring coach, a loving mother and wife, a good friend, a hard worker, a giver, someone who strived to make a positive change in the world…A happy person.
I keep thinking about Maurice Sendak’s last words in the interview, “Live your life. Live your life. Live your life.”
Three simple words.
Yet, a very difficult task for most.
Too often, we live other people’s lives. We live through their expectations of us, or what we think they want from us. We be the person who we think we have to be. We do the things we think we have to do.
So many of us are prisoners…All while holding the keys in our own pockets!
I’ve been a prisoner of CrossFit competition for over 5 years, and while I am grateful for all of the other wonderful things and people it’s brought into my life, I am ready to live MY life, and train for MY goals.
Go live YOUR life.
Love the world.