So much is based on our own thoughts and feelings. We are driven by an inner soul.
I always find it so interesting how so many people can look at the exact same painting, for example, and yet all of them have very different feelings and interpretations of the artwork.
So much of life is run by opinions, not facts.
In my short 34 years on Earth, there are some life lessons I have come to realize for myself:
1. I am my own reality. What ever I believe to be true, it is true. What ever I say I am, I am. What ever I say I can or cannot do, it’s true. If I say that I am a victim, then I am, and I will live my life as such. If I believe that I am strong and independent, then I am. If I think everyone is out to get me, then it’s true. If I think people are mostly good, then they are. I create my own reality. Just as you create your own, whether you want to accept that responsibility or not.
It’s a big deal if I make it a big deal. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I can get upset and think he’s an a**hole…I can assume he’s rushing to the hospital to see his baby born…I can just ignore it and move on…There are many ways I can interpret that moment and make it a reality for myself.
My life can be beautiful and easy going. Or, it can be hard and depressing. I could say that my friends are reliable and trustworthy. Or, I could believe that they are all two-faced and fake. It’s my own reality…My own interpretation of my life and the people in it.
It’s a monumental responsibility to take on. Knowing that my own thoughts and feelings control my own reality and way of life is like finding out that you were born with a superpower, and as you grow older, you must learn more and more how to control it and use it for good (or bad).
2. What ever I can change, I can change. What ever is out of my control, I can change how I react and feel about it. Beating a dead horse is unproductive. If I don’t like something that I cannot change, then I must take the responsibility for myself to change how I deal it personally.
Harping on something, letting it nag me, and allowing people to live “rent free” in my mind is destructive and hinders growth and happiness. I can make the conscious decision to move on and be free. People and situations are only difficult if I allow it to be.
Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t care about things and get upset. Human emotions are raw and beautiful, and you should feel every one of them. But, they do not have to consume you, define you, or destroy you. And, don’t accept someone else’s reality of you. Remember, YOU are you own reality.
3. I am not important in the grand scheme of things. This sounds really harsh, but strangely enough, when I accepted this, it actually had a very calming effect on me. I am not the end all, be all of things. If I die, life will still go on. If I fail at something, life will still go on. If I miss the party, the party will still go on. If I miss a rep, the competition will still go on. I do not control the sun and moon, and I definitely do not determine the fate of the human race.
Most people don’t even care about what I am doing or saying. I think a lot of people worry about what others are saying behind their backs, or what others will think of them, and the honest truth is, they don’t know, don’t care, or don’t even know you exist. They are too caught up in their own reality to be worrying about yours.
4. I am important to those that matter. My husband, my daughter, my parents, my brothers and sister, and a few very good friends. I think all too often, many of us work harder for the love and attention of people who don’t really matter, and we take for granted those that do. Put your time and energy into the right people.
There is a wonderful satisfaction in putting your time and energy into the right people, and letting all the others exist in the background. And, it’s not nearly as draining as trying to win over people who are committed to seeing you in a bad light.
I put my reality to the test today at the gym. I was going for a 1 rep max Strict Shoulder Press. My previous was 110#, so of course I wanted a PR today.
I started out feeling “tired” and “not in to it.” So, I lifted like that. The barbell felt very heavy!
Then, I switched gears, and told myself I felt awesome and strong. Lo and behold, I lifted better and the barbell suddenly felt a little lighter.
I got to 105# and after I completed it, I told myself, “Oh boy, that felt really heavy, I don’t know if I can get over 110# today.”
I went for 115# anyway, and totally missed it. Not even close. My reality was already decided before I attempted it with my negative attitude.
I walked away, then switched the bar to 112#, and told myself that this was totally doable! I believed that a 2# PR was easily attainable. And, what do you know, I lifted it with ease – Even easier than the 115# attempt!
So, I shook my head and laughed a little, and went back to 115#. Gave myself a couple of minutes, told myself I was going to make it, and as I started to lift the bar, I kept telling myself, “Yes, you can, you will, it’s going up, up, UP!” And, I nailed it!
The mind is so powerful.
What ever you believe, will be.
You are what ever you say you are, and your life is what ever you say it is…So, what kind of person are you creating yourself to be, and what kind of life are you allowing yourself to live?
And, take control.