Pay It Forward

downloadYesterday afternoon, one of my members/friend was on her last round of the WOD.

The WOD was 3 RFT: 30 Box Jumps, 20 SDLHP, and 30 Wall Balls.  Looks easy on paper, but catches up to you fast!

“Jenny” was on her last set of SDLHPs, and everyone else had finished already.  As she went over to her medicine ball, everyone crowded around to cheer her on to the finish.  After she fought through the first 20 Wall Balls, I grabbed a medicine ball and joined her on the remaining reps.

Cheering and being there for someone when they are fighting for the finish is always nice, but it’s even better when you can fight the good fight WITH them!  After all, we are here for SO much more than a bikini-ready body.  And, we definitely are not here to try to always beat each other and win everything.

Of course, Jenny was super appreciative of everyone sticking around, as well as for me doing the last 10 reps with her.  It’s an awesome feeling to know that you have friends/family at your gym who will struggle and feel pain with you!

I got to have the favor returned to me today.

Today’s WOD is: For Time ~ Buy In: 800m Run, then 4 Rounds: 10 KBS, 10 Push ups, 10 Pull ups, then Buy Out: 800m Run.

One of my members/friend, “Bill,” kept a strong pace for the first 800m run, and my goal was to simply keep him within arms-length of me the entire time.  He held a good 5 rep lead on me throughout the 4 rounds, but then I finally caught him on the last set of 10 pull ups.  My initial reaction was to sprint out the gates and try to gain as much of a lead on the run as possible, because I knew Bill would catch me at some point.

While in my mind I was competing with Bill, he had other plans.  It only took him about a minute to catch up to me, and we were side by side at 200m.

I expected and waited for him to pass me by, and part of me was frustrated that I couldn’t beat him.  But, then, I quickly realized that he was pacing me.  He stayed with me the entire time, pushing me along, encouraging me, and made me run harder than I would have on my own.

In all honesty, if Bill had passed me by and beat me, I probably would have just paced the remainder of the run and finished semi-strong.  I kind of think Bill knew that about me, too. 😉

So, we ran hard together for the next 400m, and then in the last 200m, we paced the first 100m, and then sprinted hard for the last 100m, finishing together at the exact same time.

It was an awesome and humbling experience.  Bill did something for me that many of us forget to do for each other ~ He sacrificed his “best time” and the “win” to be with me.  He put his teammate’s needs in front of his own.  Bill pulled back just enough to help me be a better athlete, and to make me believe in myself in the last 200m.

“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” ~ Bob Marley

So, here is a reminder to all of you CrossFitters and non-CrossFitters out there ~ Be kind, and pay it forward.  Your kindness will go a lot further than you could ever imagine.  One good turn deserves another, and can be an awesome domino effect in this world.

Bill reminded me today of a very important lesson.  It’s easy to go back for the others when you’re already done with your workout, and it’s not too much more to join them on the last few reps.  But, to do the workout side-by-side with them to push them further than they originally thought possible, to be willing to slow down a little bit to bring them up, and to finish together, rather than in 1st and 2nd place – Now THAT is a true display of sportsmanship, friendship, and integrity.

We make each other better together.

Thanks Bill! 😉

Pay It Forward.

My Reality

1157642_10201738537888190_2119404513_nHumans are such an enigma.  The fact that we can experience feelings, have different perspectives, and live such adventurous lives is so beautiful, and yet also so mysterious.

So much is based on our own thoughts and feelings.  We are driven by an inner soul.

I always find it so interesting how so many people can look at the exact same painting, for example, and yet all of them have very different feelings and interpretations of the artwork.

So much of life is run by opinions, not facts.

In my short 34 years on Earth, there are some life lessons I have come to realize for myself:

1. I am my own reality.  What ever I believe to be true, it is true.  What ever I say I am, I am.  What ever I say I can or cannot do, it’s true.  If I say that I am a victim, then I am, and I will live my life as such.  If I believe that I am strong and independent, then I am.  If I think everyone is out to get me, then it’s true.  If I think people are mostly good, then they are.  I create my own reality.  Just as you create your own, whether you want to accept that responsibility or not.

It’s a big deal if I make it a big deal.  If someone cuts me off in traffic, I can get upset and think he’s an a**hole…I can assume he’s rushing to the hospital to see his baby born…I can just ignore it and move on…There are many ways I can interpret that moment and make it a reality for myself.

My life can be beautiful and easy going.  Or, it can be hard and depressing.  I could say that my friends are reliable and trustworthy.  Or, I could believe that they are all two-faced and fake.  It’s my own reality…My own interpretation of my life and the people in it.

It’s a monumental responsibility to take on.  Knowing that my own thoughts and feelings control my own reality and way of life is like finding out that you were born with a superpower, and as you grow older, you must learn more and more how to control it and use it for good (or bad).

2. What ever I can change, I can change.  What ever is out of my control, I can change how I react and feel about it.  Beating a dead horse is unproductive.  If I don’t like something that I cannot change, then I must take the responsibility for myself to change how I deal it personally.

Harping on something, letting it nag me, and allowing people to live “rent free” in my mind is destructive and hinders growth and happiness.  I can make the conscious decision to move on and be free.  People and situations are only difficult if I allow it to be.

Now, this is not to say that you shouldn’t care about things and get upset.  Human emotions are raw and beautiful, and you should feel every one of them.  But, they do not have to consume you, define you, or destroy you.  And, don’t accept someone else’s reality of you.  Remember, YOU are you own reality.

3. I am not important in the grand scheme of things.  This sounds really harsh, but strangely enough, when I accepted this, it actually had a very calming effect on me.  I am not the end all, be all of things.  If I die, life will still go on.  If I fail at something, life will still go on.  If I miss the party, the party will still go on.  If I miss a rep, the competition will still go on.  I do not control the sun and moon, and I definitely do not determine the fate of the human race.

Most people don’t even care about what I am doing or saying.  I think a lot of people worry about what others are saying behind their backs, or what others will think of them, and the honest truth is, they don’t know, don’t care, or don’t even know you exist.  They are too caught up in their own reality to be worrying about yours.

4. I am important to those that matter.  My husband, my daughter, my parents, my brothers and sister, and a few very good friends.  I think all too often, many of us work harder for the love and attention of people who don’t really matter, and we take for granted those that do.  Put your time and energy into the right people.

There is a wonderful satisfaction in putting your time and energy into the right people, and letting all the others exist in the background.  And, it’s not nearly as draining as trying to win over people who are committed to seeing you in a bad light.

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I put my reality to the test today at the gym.  I was going for a 1 rep max Strict Shoulder Press.  My previous was 110#, so of course I wanted a PR today.

I started out feeling “tired” and “not in to it.”  So, I lifted like that.  The barbell felt very heavy!

Then, I switched gears, and told myself I felt awesome and strong.  Lo and behold, I lifted better and the barbell suddenly felt a little lighter.

I got to 105# and after I completed it, I told myself, “Oh boy, that felt really heavy, I don’t know if I can get over 110# today.”

I went for 115# anyway, and totally missed it.  Not even close. My reality was already decided before I attempted it with my negative attitude.

I walked away, then switched the bar to 112#, and told myself that this was totally doable!  I believed that a 2# PR was easily attainable.  And, what do you know, I lifted it with ease – Even easier than the 115# attempt!

So, I shook my head and laughed a little, and went back to 115#.  Gave myself a couple of minutes, told myself I was going to make it, and as I started to lift the bar, I kept telling myself, “Yes, you can, you will, it’s going up, up, UP!”  And, I nailed it!

The mind is so powerful.

What ever you believe, will be.

You are what ever you say you are, and your life is what ever you say it is…So, what kind of person are you creating yourself to be, and what kind of life are you allowing yourself to live?

Be honest.

Be humble.

And, take control.

Inner Peace

brain-machine1“Dont sacrifice your peace trying to point out someone’s true colors.  Lack of character always reveals itself in the end.” ~ Mandy Hale

I saw this quote the other day on a friend’s Instagram, and it really hit home.  It strangely lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders.

For as long as I can remember, even at the young age of maybe 4 or 5, I felt the need to confront and call people out on their wrong doing.  I could never keep my mouth shut about it, could not for the life of me look the other way, and I definitely could not let it go until the wrong doer was announced in public and held accountable for his/her actions.

I grew up watching “The Brady Bunch,” and numerous other feel-good, lesson-learned type shows and movies.  The good guy always won.  The bad guy always lost.  In the end, it was always best to be honest and fair.  It was this perfect, idealistic bubble that I lived in.  And…I thought that was real life growing up.

So, whenever someone cheated, lied, or was abusive or unfair in some way, whether it was directed towards me or someone I cared about, I had to pick a fight and stand up to the culprit.  And, I had to make sure everyone else knew what he/she did that was so wrong.

I could never understand why others did not live by the same values and morals as I did.  And, I eventually grew up angry and resentful of people.

The hard truth is ~ Sh***y people really do not care at all that they are sh***y.

All of my past confrontations ended with zero resolution and closure.  Sure, I got to have my say, but I never felt like I actually “won,” and the culprit was still an a**hole.

It didn’t change anything.

So, what’s the lesson?

Let it go.

Move on.

No matter where I go, no matter what I do or say, no matter how honest and awesome I am, no matter how old we get, and no matter how hard I try…People will sh** on me at one time or another.

It’s an inevitable part of human life.

People come and go.  Some are good.  Some are bad.

But, instead of taking on every single battle, I need to just accept the fact that this person is not purposeful in my life, and let it go.

When I get angry, I am letting that a**hole win.  It’s like that quote states so well, “Holding on to a grudge is letting someone live rent free in your head.”

It’s exhausting letting all of those a**holes live rent free in my head.

It’s time for some inner peace.

I am not the Integrity Police, so I need to stop acting like one.

If someone isn’t of the same moral standards as I am, then I can remove myself from the relationship and find those that are.

I cannot change or control people.  I can’t fix stupid.  And, I definitely cannot get anywhere with a sociopath.

I can only change and control me.

I think all too often, a lot of us spend way too much time trying to change and control each other, which is why so many of us are frustrated, resentful, angry, and exhausted.

If we put as much energy as we do trying to change each other into actually changing ourselves, just imagine how much you would accomplish and how awesome you would be!

I am at a point in my life that I have finally decided to walk away from dysfunction.  I have given up the monumental responsibility of being the Integrity Police, and I will let karma and time work things out, like they always do so beautifully.

What a huge sense of relief.  For about the past week, I have truly had a clear mind.  It was like I did a huge spring cleaning in my head ~ Threw out all of the garbage, re-organized, wiped and dusted, and cleared out everything that has been taking up space for far too long!

No more free rent. 😉

If you want awesome in your life, than you have to BE awesome.  So, now that I’ve finished the “spring cleaning,” it’s time for me to start living by my own standards and values, and let the rest filter itself out.

Here’s to a new outlook on life, people, and myself!

 

Work Harder

10428320_718026561572538_1848452235404257806_oAfter watching the NorCal Regionals this past Saturday at the San Jose State University Event Center, I realized something…

I need to work harder.

The ONLY reason why I was not down in that arena with the rest of the competitors this weekend is because of ME.

Being a spectator this weekend was challenging for me, because I knew I let another year go by, and I only have myself to blame for it.

It’s a very hard pill to swallow – Personal Responsibility.

I could blame it on being the mother of a two year old, or being a business owner, or going through therapy, or dealing with family issues, or my shoulder injury in the fall season…

But, then I refer back to the quote, “If you want it bad enough, you’ll find a way.  If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.”

So, how badly did I really want it this year?

Maybe I was just infatuated with the IDEA of going to Regionals, but I really didn’t want to work hard enough for it?  Or, maybe I had to work on myself first, before I was ready to really take on something like this?  Maybe I needed to reach that “breaking point.”

Well…I’ve reached it.

The Regionals and Games athletes work really, really hard to be where they are.  Really, really, REALLY hard!

I’ve been doing probably about 1/4 of what they do.

I’ve been thinking about this all weekend, and getting more and more upset with myself.  Mad that I didn’t do more to be better prepared for the Open.  Mad that I let another whole year go by.  Mad that I wasn’t better.

Mad that I’m not living up to my potential.

And then…I had to finally accept the fact that I just need to work harder.

I can’t control new athletes coming out of the woodworks each year who are bad ass firebreathers.  I can’t control accidents and unforeseen injuries and illnesses.  I can’t control other athletes training harder.

I CAN control what I put in to it, though.  I can control how hard I push myself.  I can control how often I work on my weaknesses.  I can control all of me.

I need to do more.

Put up or shut up!

This can apply to everything in life.  I need to work harder on my patience as a mother.  I need to work harder on finishing our house remodel.  I need to work harder on being a better wife.

If things don’t end the way you want them to…If you aren’t getting the results you want…Then DO something about it.  Change.  Do more.  Work harder.  Dig deep.  And, don’t settle.

3, 2, 1, Go! 😉