At some point in life, your own opinion has to be the one that matters most to you.
More importantly, your own opinion of yourself.
All too often, people worry more about what others think about them. They are shackled by the thoughts and feelings of others. They care more about what others say about them, than they do about what they truly believe in about themselves. It’s a very debilitating way to live.
As a CrossFit coach, I see it too much. Every day, in fact. I always wish that I could give people the power to let go of all that negativity, and realize that they are so much more than anyone else’s words. So much more.
Just remember what Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” 😉
And, those who talk behind your back, it’s only because you are ahead of them.
Keep on walking tall.
As a mother of an almost 2 year old, I have gained a much bigger sense of myself. In a world of “Do this, don’t do that, you should try this, don’t try that, read this book, follow this plan, that’s not okay, this is okay,” overload, it’s no wonder so many mothers question themselves day in and day out.
When I was pregnant, I started to read the book “What to Expect When Expecting” and it turned me into a paranoid, insecure, and very worrisome expectant mother. So, I stopped reading it, and then I actually really enjoyed and loved the rest of my pregnancy. I also didn’t take any of the classes. Nope, if I was going to this, I was going to do this my way. People, including the nurses and doctors, thought I was crazy for being so “unprepared.”
We’ve been having babies for thousands of years, though. Call it a “Mother’s Intuition,” or whatever, but it is real. And, there is absolutely no way of knowing what your baby is going to be like, and what’s going to work well for you and your baby until the moment arises.
Too many mothers shared their own experiences and advice with me. I would just nod and smile every time. The intentions were good, but the truth of the matter is – What works for you and your baby, isn’t going to work for me and my baby.
It’s a day-to-day challenge.
The books, blogs, specialists, and other mothers can suck the joy out of parenthood real fast if you let it.
So much judgement to be had. So many opinions and unsolicited advice to be given. It can drive any woman crazy.
So, that’s just it – You can’t let it consume you, control you. I simply let people share their opinions and advice with me, take it as a well-intended gesture, and then continue on with my own way.
I still nurse Bailey, although I am slowly weaning her and mostly nurse her at bedtime now. But, there are other moments that I will nurse her, because at random times she will get scared, sad, or just need it for whatever reason. It’s an understanding that her and I share together.
Some people cannot believe that I am still nursing Bailey at almost 2 years old, though. They think I am either being a push-over, needy and selfish, or that I’m simply doing it wrong as a mother.
The honest truth is – I don’t give two sh**s what others think about it. Bailey and I know what works well for the two of us. We are happy and healthy.
Taking control of my own self-worth as a mother has really made motherhood enjoyable for me. And, I have learned to carry over that power into my everyday life, as well. I no longer worry so much about what others think about me. I don’t let their words define me. They do not control or influence me.
It’s an amazing freedom to have, and I wish more people learned to take it.
We are all damaged and broken people. We have all been stepped on, pushed down, ignored, neglected, ridiculed, rejected, and hurt. Life really is unfair. Life is hard. But, it can also be beautiful.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who live by the mantra, “Misery loves company,” and they will try to drag you down. Some people don’t like seeing others happy and successful, because they are not happy and successful themselves. Some people want you to hurt just as much as they do.
I used to be in co-dependent relationships, and I always thought I could change or fix the guys. I hung out with less than ambition people. I allowed others to push me around and define me. I was a people-pleaser and constantly trying to be the person I thought they wanted me to be. I was constantly disappointed and let down. I was a very unhappy chameleon.
Luckily, somehow, through magic and miracles, I’ve made it to this point in my life. I have broken free from those heavy chains. I have quality friends in my life now. I have an amazing husband who makes me a better person, and a happy and successful life.
Being able to say “No,” and letting go of certain people in my life have been two of the hardest, but most important skills ever that I have learned to do.
If they do not grow you, teach you, or lift you up, then they don’t deserve you!
CrossFit has had a huge impact in all of this, as well. Most of my best friends I met through CrossFit. My inner strength has been built through CrossFit. My self-worth has been found and claimed in CrossFit. My freedom from my past was fought and won through CrossFit. My success and livelihood is CrossFit.
I am CrossFit. I am Me. And, there’s no one I’d rather be! 😉
Go find your power!