A State of Mind

4921Bruce Lee was a very wise man.  Many times, his words have resonated with me, and have inspired me to stand up that eighth time.

This quote, “Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality,” is currently my mantra in life.

Recently, we had the CrossFit Open season, and it was a tumultuous experience for me.  I had given myself the goal of qualifying for NorCal Regionals.

Last year, I was going for that same goal, but then in WOD 13.4, my husband and I went to Hilton Head with family for Easter, and I got the worst stomach flu in my life!  It was coming out of both ends, and I was so dehydrated and depleted, that I could barely even muster a score for the Leaderboard.  It was a heartbreaking week.  So, needless to say, we did NOT travel this year during the Open! 😉

WOD 14.1 was my worst performance out of all five of the workouts.  It was a rough way to begin the Open season, but by 14.4 I was jumping and leaping up that Leaderboard.  If you want to read about each week, you can find the blogs here (click on the title):

Reflections on 14.1

Reflections on 14.2

Reflections on 14.3

Reflections on 14.4

Reflections on 14.5

Reflections on the Open

So, here I am, after the Open, not going to Regionals, and trying to figure out my next steps in life.  I’ll admit, for a couple of weeks after the Open, I felt sorry for myself.  I felt defeated.  I questioned myself a lot, and then finally had to slap myself in the face to snap out of it.

Then, I saw Bruce Lee’s quote written on the bathroom wall of our restroom at the gym, and it really hit home.  It was then that I knew I had to buck up and make this a growing experience.  I was not going to be defeated; I was going to keep fighting!

The Open taught me that even with disappointment and failure, accomplishments and pride can still exist.  Even though I did not meet my goal of qualifying for Regionals, I actually did something even greater than that ~ I conquered my inner demons finally!  I am no longer haunted.  I am finally free from the handcuffs.  So many of us hold on to the past for far too long, and it ruins the present and future.

Each week of the Open, I broke through another cell wall that I’ve kept locked up for so many years, and by the end of the Open, I was out of that dark dungeon, and running free through the fields.

The mind is an incredibly strong force to reckon with.  Whatever you think, you are.  So, I think I’m pretty courageous, and I am finally developing into the woman I always wanted to be, and knew I could be. 😉

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